If Christmas in New York could be found on the map I think most people would agree that its address would be Rockefeller Center, filled as it is with the tree and the giant decorations, and the fabled City of Radio … where Rockettes dress up as reindeer and dance their little hearts out, doling out Christmas Miracles to the tourists one high kick at a time.

I’d seen the Radio City Christmas Spectacular a number of times as a child but it was never a family tradition, so therefore it wasn’t something that got scheduled into the season as much as, say, hanging the stocking by the chimney with care or riding in a one-horse open sleigh (oh what fun!).  So it wasn’t till around 25 years later, when some out-of-town visitors were staying in NYC for the first 2 weeks of December (“Nothing like shopping on 5th Avenue for Christmas presents!” they cried, credit cards extended), that my family decided it was about time to get ourselves back to the show.  After all, it can’t all be Coach wallets and Tiffany trinkets … you’ve gotta have a LITTLE good ole fashioned NYC theater in there somewhere.  And, say what you want, WICKED is a fine, fine show, but nothing says Christmas like the Radio City Christmas Spectacular.  (It’s in the ACTUAL NAME).  Since that day around 5 years ago, I actually found myself back in that audience a number of times, always finding some reason to be there. It adds a little touch of holiday magic to the otherwise pushy, shove-y, where-the-heck-did-I-drop-my-glove-y midtown area.

First of all, there’s nothing like that first step you take into Radio City Music Hall … it’s so much of a time warp that you had better wear lace-up shoes for fear that the WHOOSH of Christmas Past knocks you out of your Manolos.  (Or Bruno Maglis, for you fellas).  And although I’m a good 2 or 3 feet taller than I was the first time I set foot in that movie theatre, it’s amazing how small that place still makes you feel.  With New York City real estate what it is these days, space that has the luxury of a ceiling THAT HIGH is reserved for places like the Met, or the Met … or the actual outside.

March of the Wooden Soldiers

Now, let’s be clear … when people go to see the Radio City Christmas Spectacular, they may SAY they’re going in order to enjoy the whole 90 minute show, but really, unless the Rockettes are standing across the stage in a line, kick, kick, kicking their way to Christmas, it’s all just a waiting room.  No one cares about the Nutcracker sequence, that Parade of Santas, or the actual ice skaters skating on actual ice … and The 3-D movie (put your special glasses on … NOW!) that starts the whole thing — of Santa swooping through the city making his way to Rock Center like a mile-high cabbie  — is fun, but nothing your local I-Max couldn’t give you. Just like everyone suffers through the first parts of Handel’s Messiah waiting for the Hallelujah Chorus, so everyone waits and waits at Radio City for the famed Wooden Soldiers number (which has been a crowd pleaser since 1933) and claps like mad every time those Rockettes break apart and join back up into another formation.  “Yay!”  and “Wow!”  and other exclamations can be heard all around the Music Hall,  people are dazzled and the audience is electrified.  This builds and builds until the big cannon goes “boom” … and then, there they are, all those Rockettes in their Wooden Soldier outfits, falling down like really really really slow dominoes, while the orchestra ad-libs a downward arpeggio until the last Rockette lands on her well-toned little butt.  Thunderous applause … it could end here, but there’s another whole bunch of show to watch.

Well, now, let’s not be too hasty.  As much as I like to pretend I’m a cynical New Yorker with a hard candy shell, nothing chokes me up like that Living Nativity scene at the end (also one of the few scenes that still exists from the original 1933 production) when all the shepherds, angels, and camels come from miles around (or … you know, backstage) to honor that “one solitary life”.  Even if you’re not a Christian, the message is still a powerful one … that any one, no matter how humble the beginnings, no matter how limited the means, and no matter how difficult the path, has the ability to change the world for the better.  Cue music.

Then, just as you’re about to get all quiet and thoughtful (is THAT any way to celebrate Christmas?) they wrap it all up in Swarovski crystal and silver (get your light sticks out … NOW!) and the whole things ends with a big shiny sparkly glow.  You wander out into the middle of Christmas, happy and sated, and all baked up like a gingerbread cookie.  Okay, enough of that … Now go get those credit cards out, these presents aren’t going to buy themselves!

The Radio City Christmas Spectacular is currently running until December 30th; most days have 4 performances with up to 6 performances on the weekends, but check the calendar for available dates and times.

Related Posts:

• Radio City Christmas Spectacular
• A Stocking Full Of The Happiest Holiday Media Just For YOU!
• Fight Fest: Deck The Hallmans!

More Retro Cards @ Fenderskirts Vintage

Before heading off for a long winter’s nap, I thought it would only be fitting to send you into the holidays with visions of sugarplums and such. So, here is my Christmas wish for you all, and if you don’t celebrate Christmas, here’s hoping the Internet waves simultaneously translate my wishes and retrofit them to the holiday of your choice, whatever your faith or creed.  Whatever holiday language you speak: May these days be merry and bright.  And if it’s a little bit of fun you’re wanting, keep reading for some ideas on holiday Theatre, Film, TV, Books, Art and Music.  You may find a few surprises …

THEATRE

The White Christmas Cast Dancing Up A (Snow) Storm

There’s always the show that tourists flock to year after year, the one that made Radio Street into Radio City (well … maybe not) … the one that takes a dazzling line of chorus gals, snaps some antlers on their heads, shoots them with a cannon, then makes them do a tap routine 50 times before the season is up.  Yes, I’m talking about the Radio City Christmas Spectacular which I reviewed right around this time last year, with about the same amount of cheekiness.  However, truth is, I actually do get a bit of a lump in my throat every time I go, so if schmaltz is your thing, this is the way to go.

Speaking of schmaltz, what could be more Christmassy than a song written by Mr. Irving Berlin, Jewish composer extraordinaire and the man who brought us White Christmas?  If it’s a schmaltzy time you want, it’s a schmaltzy time you’ll get at White Christmas running now until January 3rd.

If that’s not Jewish enough for you, why not check out The Klezmer Nutcracker … “Sara is miserable at the family Chanukah party. But when mysterious Tante Miriam arrives with the gift of a Golden Dreydl, everything changes.” Sounds good to me!

But maybe all this sounds a little too traditional for a jaded New Yorker like you?  Well, then check out Christine Pedi’s Holly Jolly Christmas Folly playing for 9 performances at the Laurie Beechman Theatre.  You can catch her during those down days between the bookend holidays (Saturday December 26 through Wednesday December 30) as she sings “yuletide hits with a twist”.

But what if tradition is your bag?  Then by all means, check out the old Dickens classic A Christmas Carol being done at the 13th Street Repertory Company till January 10th.  Plenty of time to go get your Scrooge on.

FILM

I am not even going to act like I don’t have a bias here.   Yes, there’s It’s a Wonderful Life.  Yawn.  Zuzu’s petals … I get it.  We ALL get it.  And we’ve all been getting it for mumble mumble years. And Miracle on 34th Street?  Yes, yes.   Lovely.  Santa, mailbags … darling Natalie Wood as a child.  Meet Me In St. Louis?  Well … it’s just got the one song, really.  And even my absolute favorite, A Christmas Story, is starting to wear on me a bit.  (JUST A BIT!).  So, for your consideration, I submit some newer thoughts on the subject (no … not The Santa Clause … don’t worry) that actually get me most in the holiday mood:

I came late to Elf.  I didn’t see it in the movie theatre where (I suspect) I would have had the best time with it.  Instead, I stumbled upon it one Saturday afternoon and within minutes fell in love.  It’s not like I’m the biggest Will Farrell fan … but director  Jon Favreau just did everything right to put me in a true Christmas mood. Plus, Zooey Deschanel singing Baby It’s Cold Outside in the shower while Farrell wistfully sings along is as heartwarming a scene as Jimmy Stewart hugging his family.  With terrific candy coated nuggets like Edward Asner as Santa and some of the funniest lines you’ll hear in a Christmas movie, I vote that this become the new go-to holiday flick.

Not every Christmas movie has to have Christmas in the whole thing, by the way … which is why my other nomination is Edward Scissorhands. Check out the scene below to see why sharp knives, gothy black hair and ice sculptures will always mean “Christmas” to me.

TV

Of all the media which has evolved through the years, I’m happiest with how TV has grown.  (Good job, TV!)  I love that I started watching LOST on iTunes, then switched to watching it on ABC.com.  I have Netflixed entire shows from first to last episode, never having seen one single moment of it on conventional TV.  And thanks to hulu.com you can get your fix of holiday episodes RIGHT NOW if you’re near a computer of any type (and if you’re reading this, you probably are).  Say you’d like your Charlie Brown dose (either I Want A Dog For Christmas, Charlie Brown or the classic Charlie Brown Christmas).  Done!  Maybe you’re sitting there staring at the Secret Santa present you received and you’d like to see what TV has to say about that … then check in with the crew of The Office or 30 Rock to see their take on it.  In a Seth MacFarlane mood?  (I know I am!)  Then you’ll want to watch American Dad’s Most Adequate Christmas Ever or A Cleveland Brown Christmas.  And if none of that appeals to you, try the non-traditionally titled A Very Gilly Christmas from SNL or The Goop On The Girl from Bones.  Put your feet up, grab a cup of cocoa (extra marshmallows … tis the season!), and settle in for some good ole TV viewing.

BOOKS

The great thing about a book is that it can help you express your inner snark privately.  To others (on the subway, let’s say, or that long flight home) you just look like you’re reading a normal book, but what you’re really doing is inwardly chuckling your way through Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris – a collection of essays all based on Christmas.  The 1997 version contains The SantaLand Diaries which details Sedaris’ time spent as a Macy’s elf,

Season’s Greetings to Our Friends and Family!!! which, I swear, was not that far off from some of those way-too-chatty holiday newsletters I’ve received in Christmas Cards Past, Dinah, the Christmas Whore (just what it sounds like), Front Row Center with Thaddeus Bristol – grade school pageant at its best, and rounding off with Based on a True Story and Christmas Means Giving.  If you spring for the new version you get six additional stories, or opt for the audio version and here every nuanced word come right out of David Sedaris’ mouth (follow this link for a hilarious snippet).  You may also want to pick up a copy of “The SantaLand Diaries & Seasons Greetings: 2 Plays” so that you can act it all out with your friends who’ve come home for the winter break.

ART

Not everything is about Santa or his Elves.   Did you know that there is a nasty little critter known as a Krampus who is said to accompany good ole St. Nick … punishing the children who have been bad, like a Christmas good cop/bad cop scenario?   Actually, he does more than punish them, he carries them away and then throws them into the fiery pits of hell.  THAT should teach you to be naughty!

Some Krampus fellows appear to be a little less brutal, like this chap below, rendered by artist Travis Louie.  For some more amiable Krampuses (Krampii?) check out his website.

Hypno Krampus - one of many Krampus Monsters who will getcha

MUSIC

I could try and do what this guy has already done, but frankly I could never do it as thoroughly, with as much charm, as much joy, and as much panache as The King of Jing-a-ling who put together a site called Falalalala.com that has totally cool links to every type of Christmas album you can imagine and then  some … not to mention links to other fun things like Antique Christmas Lights, The Yule Log and topics I didn’t cover here because he did a much better job than I ever could.  So if you want a one-stop-shopping Christmas site, you’ll be happy you checked it out.

and finally …

LIGHTS, CAMERA … SANTA!

This Brooklyn tradition of covering every square inch of your home in lights is a bombardment of every type of media, so I’m giving it it’s own category … as well as  sending it to you as my final thought.  Having grown up in Brooklyn this sight is nothing new to me, however every year that I take a drive over to Bensonhurst and Dyker Heights (as I did earlier this month) I never cease to delight in the glow of lights, the smiles on the people’s faces as they see the giant displays, and the wonderfully festive mood it puts me in.  If you’re up for a drive, get yourself here:

View Larger Map

Ho Ho Ho and Happiest Holidays from Everyone at

The Happiest Medium!

Related Posts:

• Radio City – Just For Tourists? Think Again …
• Radio City Christmas Spectacular
• Merry Christmas

If Christmas in New York could be found on the map I think most people would agree that its address would be Rockefeller Center, filled as it is with the tree and the giant decorations, and the fabled City of Radio … where Rockettes dress up as reindeer and dance their little hearts out, doling out Christmas Miracles to the tourists one high kick at a time.

I’d seen the Radio City Christmas Spectacular a number of times as a child but it was never a family tradition, so therefore it wasn’t something that got scheduled into the season as much as, say, hanging the stocking by the chimney with care or riding in a one-horse open sleigh (oh what fun!).  So it wasn’t till around 25 years later, when some out-of-town visitors were staying in NYC for the first 2 weeks of December (“Nothing like shopping on 5th Avenue for Christmas presents!” they cried, credit cards extended), that my family decided it was about time to get ourselves back to the show.  After all, it can’t all be Coach wallets and Tiffany trinkets … you’ve gotta have a LITTLE good ole fashioned NYC theater in there somewhere.  And, say what you want, WICKED is a fine, fine show, but nothing says Christmas like the Radio City Christmas Spectacular.  (It’s in the ACTUAL NAME).  Since that day around 5 years ago, I actually found myself back in that audience a number of times, always finding some reason to be there. It adds a little touch of holiday magic to the otherwise pushy, shove-y, where-the-heck-did-I-drop-my-glove-y midtown area.

First of all, there’s nothing like that first step you take into Radio City Music Hall … it’s so much of a time warp that you had better wear lace-up shoes for fear that the WHOOSH of Christmas Past knocks you out of your Manolos.  (Or Bruno Maglis, for you fellas).  And although I’m a good 2 or 3 feet taller than I was the first time I set foot in that movie theatre, it’s amazing how small that place still makes you feel.  With New York City real estate what it is these days, space that has the luxury of a ceiling THAT HIGH is reserved for places like the Met, or the Met … or the actual outside.

Now, let’s be clear … when people go to see the Radio City Christmas Spectacular, they may SAY they’re going in order to enjoy the whole 90 minute show, but really, unless the Rockettes are standing across the stage in a line, kick, kick, kicking their way to Christmas, it’s all just a waiting room.  No one cares about the Nutcracker sequence, that Parade of Santas, or the actual ice skaters skating on actual ice … and The 3-D movie (put your special glasses on … NOW!) that starts the whole thing — of Santa swooping through the city making his way to Rock Center like a mile-high cabbie  — is fun, but nothing your local I-Max couldn’t give you. Just like everyone suffers through the first parts of Handel’s Messiah waiting for the Hallelujah Chorus, so everyone waits and waits at Radio City for the famed Wooden Soldiers number (which has been a crowd pleaser since 1933) and claps like mad every time those Rockettes break apart and join back up into another formation.  “Yay!”  and “Wow!”  and other exclamations can be heard all around the Music Hall,  people are dazzled and the audience is electrified.  This builds and builds until the big cannon goes “boom” … and then, there they are, all those Rockettes in their Wooden Soldier outfits, falling down like really really really slow dominoes, while the orchestra ad-libs a downward arpeggio until the last Rockette lands on her well-toned little butt.  Thunderous applause … it could end here, but there’s another whole bunch of show to watch.

Well, now, let’s not be too hasty.  As much as I like to pretend I’m a cynical New Yorker with a hard candy shell, nothing chokes me up like that Living Nativity scene at the end (also one of the few scenes that still exists from the original 1933 production) when all the shepherds, angels, and camels come from miles around (or … you know, backstage) to honor that “one solitary life”.  Even if you’re not a Christian, the message is still a powerful one … that any one, no matter how humble the beginnings, no matter how limited the means, and no matter how difficult the path, has the ability to change the world for the better.  Cue music.

Then, just as you’re about to get all quiet and thoughtful (is THAT any way to celebrate Christmas?) they wrap it all up in Swarovski crystal and silver (get your light sticks out … NOW!) and the whole things ends with a big shiny sparkly glow.  You wander out into the middle of Christmas, happy and sated, and all baked up like a gingerbread cookie.  Okay, enough of that … Now go get those credit cards out, these presents aren’t going to buy themselves!

The Radio City Christmas Spectacular is currently running until December 30th; most days have 4 performances with up to 6 performances on the weekends, but check the calendar for available dates and times.

Related Posts:

• Radio City – Just For Tourists? Think Again …
• “The Cripple of Inishmaan” Stands Tall
• Rotten Apple: 10 Things To Know About The Show Before You Go (2016 FRIGID NEW YORK FESTIVAL)
• Ye Elizabeths: Living Vicariously Because … (2012 Planet Connections Festivity)
• 3 Ghosts By Pipe Dream Theatre Productions