Being the editor and founder of The Happiest Medium has its privileges.  I’d like to think that I know how to delegate but I’ll be honest – when an opportunity came up to interview Ms. Alex Bond I took it for myself because I’d been wanting to meet this wonderful lady ever since I’d seen her show Late Nights With The Boys.   I was fortunate to also see Ms. Alex Bond in the MTWorks production of David Stallings’ Barrier Island. She is currently playing opposite David in Cody Daigle’s A Home Across The Ocean.

Ms. Bond is one of those rare performers whose light shines out so brightly that you can see her eyes twinkle from the back row.  I admit that I was nervous to meet her and sit down with her but, of course, Alex is as warm and dear as she comes across on stage and she not only gave me a great interview but she also shared some deep insight into A Home Across The Ocean.

We sat down for lunch earlier this month while rehearsals for this play were still going on. Now that A Home Across The Ocean is in its last week there’s still time to get your tickets, and I urge you to do so.  I’ll let my interview with Alex explain why  . . .

Alex Bond (Grethe) in MTWorks world premiere production of A HOME ACROSS THE OCEAN by Cody Daigle, directed by Dev Bondarin | September 16 - October 2, 2010 | Theatre Row Complex | Photo Credit: Antonio Miniño

Tell us a little bit about A Home Across The Ocean , and about your character, Grethe, in particular.

AB:I guess it’s best for me to speak mostly about my part because I wouldn’t dare speak for the other characters. As actors we bring ourselves to a part so I will mostly speak about about Grethe.

A Home Across The Ocean itself  is like a poem to the idea of forming families when perhaps the ones that we were born with or the ones we’ve had before don’t fulfill us. I play the mother – and it’s great because I’ve been forming families all my life, and you hope that they stick around with you for as long as you stick around. In some cases, they don’t… but moving on, and moving forward are also themes of our play.

So Grethe is the mother of a gay son – which frankly could not have been more perfect. If I had had children I would have wanted them to be gay- either male or female – simply because when I was younger and growing up it was such a stigma and I thought that was wrong.  I felt that people who are different need a little extra love. And I get being different . . . so that’s why I’d be a good mom of a gay person.

A Home Across The Ocean is a beautifully written play by Cody Daigle. I’m wondering if Cody had a lot of his own mother in my character . . . she’s a highly educated woman; maybe a little too educated. She likes to use big words when she gets ticked off … words like “incredulousness” . . . she pulls out the vocabulary when she wants to make a point!

Grethe has just lost her husband of 33 years and she has decided to move forward and in doing so maybe has made some choices that are precipitous (laughing). How’s that?

That’s a great ten dollar word!

Her son certainly thinks that Mom is moving too quickly after Dad’s death, so we have that contention going on between family members. In the meantime, her son, Conner, and his partner have adopted a child which they don’t tell Mom is a 13 year old girl . . . and Mom is anticipating a baby. Also, the child is African American, But that’s fine with Grethe because she herself has written a letter to a former lover (someone whom I’m convinced she lost her virginity to) who is an African poet who she had aligned herself with in college.

I think it’s one of those reactions:  “I don’t know what to do with myself, I’ve taken care of the business that has to do with my husband’s passing, now what?” So she writes to this man who now lives in London and probably thinks he won’t reply . . . or come to visit . . . but he does!

What follow are the labor pains of everyone forming this new family.

DAVID STALLINGS and ALEX BOND (Off-B'way: "Flamingo Court") appearing in MTWorks' world premiere of A HOME ACROSS THE OCEAN, by LGBTQ journalist CODY DAIGLE, directed by DEV BONDARIN | September 16 - October 2, 2010 at The Studio Theatre @Theatre Row | photo credit: Antonio Miniño

You’ve worked with David Stallings now for several projects in a row. He plays your son in A Home Across The Ocean. How does it feel to be playing his mom?

We love each other a lot already. But what I have to bring to this play is that “mother-judgmental” thing . . . which I would never do to David in real life. I admire him as an actor as well as a playwright. But Momma judges, as Mommas do. So I have had to bring in some things that are not in our daily friendship.

Does it feel strange?

Yes, it does. Because we’ll get through rehearsal after I have yelled at him or he’s gotten snippy with me in a scene and it is odd. We haven’t really talked about it, but it’s interesting. I have to bring something that isn’t there in our normal relationship. I don’t want to yell at him and I have to judge him and that’s something that I, Alex, wouldn’t do. So yes, it’s been tough.

A Home Across The Ocean is a very heartwarming play that’s nestled amid some very prickly issues. Do you see this as a message play, or just a play about people who happen to be in certain situations?

I think any play is a message play. Some hit you over the head with a jackhammer – this one does not. This one uses subtly and beautiful language.

One of the most interesting things I find about A Home Across The Ocean is that it’s not about gay adoption. It’s more . . . “okay, they’ve adopted her, and now how do they cope as parents?” So the conversations these men have about their daughter could be coming out of any adoptive parent’s mouths. And that’s what’s wonderful about the play. Yes, these are exceptional circumstances and that gets mentioned occasionally. But that’s not the big thing. So it starts from a point of gay adoption already being acceptable.

At the same time, Daniel and Conner worry about “are we able to do it?” [as a gay couple]. As much as you don’t agree with something that society is saying, you still hear it, and it still creates that grain of doubt. There’s a part where Grethe says to Conner “Everything you’ve done smacks of impermanence” . . . in Grethe’s eyes.

She brings out the questions of Why are you fostering instead of adopting? Why is [foster daughter] Penny 13? She’ll be out of the house in 5 years. Maybe Conner never thought of that but Mom knows how to provoke Son.

I feel that gay adoption is such a wonderful thing that I don’t see anything wrong with it in my own head. I have a neighbor who can’t understand “gay” anything, much less gay adoption. We were discussing it and I said “You know more children are abused by ‘traditional’ parents?” For me, it’s a no-brainer. And I don’t know when people will wake up to just celebrating goodness, no matter what package it comes in.

I’m right there with you.

LATE NIGHTS WITH THE BOYS: confessions of a leather bar chanteuse Pictured: Alex Bond in 1977

This feeds right into my next question – In your own show that you wrote “Late Nights With the Boys: Confessions of a Leather Bar Chanteuse”you take audiences back to a time when being gay meant hiding out in bars and putting on a different persona out in the “real” world. What does it mean now to you to be part of A Home Across The Ocean- a play that celebrates the relationship of a gay couple – and also shows the challenges of two men trying to adopt a child?

I think progress generally moves slowly. In thirty years strides have been made – and it’s high time but in retrospect, a shame. Some people say “We’ll take what we can get” and I say “Let’s open people’s eyes.” Late Nights is somewhat of an eyeopener in that it shows exactly how much progress has been made … but there are still [gay] people being beat up, there are still people being ostracized, there are still people being kicked out of their homes because they don’t fit the norm.  Equal rights shouldn’t have qualifiers or exceptions.  So we’re not done yet.

I don’t march anymore . . . but I do what I can, and so that’s what Late Nights is about. It’s for younger gay people to see how there has been progress and to keep it going; and for people who remember the old days who can be nostalgic about the crazy kick-up-your-heels days. People always find inequity in the world, and I’ll never change my neighbor’s mind, but I know that there are people who have changed their minds.

Without giving away too much of the plot, do you have a favorite moment or scene in A Home Across The Ocean, one that really gets you excited every time you come to it?

Yes – and it happens quite early – there is an airport scene. I’d mentioned that the African Poet comes for a visit. This is one of those moments that everyone would love to have – where they see their first love after 35 years come walking toward them in an airport . . .and all of a sudden, especially for someone who is . . . well Grethe’s 56 in the play (and I’ll say that’s how old I am) but you all of a sudden are 19 again. That is so cool and it’s so much fun to play with and to experience because I often act and talk younger than my years. Maturity is something that . . . well there are certain aspect of it of which I am not fond. So that is a favorite moment.

Bonus question time! You can tell me anything you want. It can be a favorite memory, or tell me about your favorite charity. You can give me a recipe or tell me a joke or just leave me with a quote. Anything at all. The mic is yours . . .

Well at the risk of sounding maudlin there is something that I don’t talk about a lot, it comes up in personal conversations, but it is now time for me to own and be proud of. And that is the fact that I am, twice, a TBI [traumatic brain injury] survivor. I’ve had two skull fractures in my life — both of which had me comatose. They were a long time ago. But they affect how quickly I memorize, and I have no peripheral depth perception and there are some things I’ve had to adjust to. And the fact that I’m still acting, and that people still want me, even though I take a little longer to learn things, that – to me – is a miracle.

So if other people got cracked up a couple times and feel they can’t do anything – I’m living proof that you can.

You are MORE than living proof! You are sparkling proof. You are the most dynamic, sparkling person I know!

Thank you! If anything, I want my life to be an inspiration. I want to inspire people and I want people to be tolerant of each other, because you don’t know their story . . . you don’t know them. And on a molecular level we are all the same. As a codicil (another good word) . . . as a codicil . . . guess what? I forgot what the codicil was! (laughs)

Well if you remember you tell me!

__________________

Alex did remember – her codicil was that there is ONE thing she herself doesn’t tolerate – and that’s a bigot.  I agree – bigotry is one thing we all can be intolerant of!

To see Alex Bond’s touching performance as Grethe, and to watch this entire talented cast experience the growing pains of forming a new family, make sure to get to A Home Across The Ocean this week.

~~~

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4 Cents Review – When 2 reviewers each give their 2 cents.

LATE NIGHTS WITH THE BOYS: confessions of a leather bar chanteuse Pictured: Alex Bond in 1977

Today Diánna Martin and Karen Tortora-Lee give their 4 Cents about Late Nights With The Boys: Confessions Of A Leather Bar Chantuse which is part of this year’s Frigid Festival.

Late Nights With The Boys: Confessions Of A Leather Bar Chantuse was presented as selections read by Alex Bond and David Carson from Ms. Bond’s novel, but aside from that we both didn’t know what to expect.  The Frigid blurb promised that the reading would transport you to Dallas 1977, a magical time before HIV/AIDS, but not before ignorance and prejudice so we were eager to watch this story unfold.

Karen: I really didn’t know what to expect from Late Nights With The Boys, and almost immediately I was charmed.  Didn’t you sense their warmth right away?

Diánna: Absolutely – there was something very natural and calm about Alex Bond and David Carson that affected the audience. I think the fact that they didn’t dim the house lights was interesting toward that end …

Karen: Definitely. I mean, I felt they were having a conversation with us (the audience) as much as with each other, and that sense of immediacy happened automatically.

The story begins with Anna Zander interviewing prospective autobiographer Craig to see if he would be a good fit, not only as someone who is a good enough writer to capture her story, but if he’s someone she’ll feel comfortable with so that her story will be able to come forth naturally.

Karen: First of all, I loved how Anna greeted Craig at her front door with  “Are you gay? Come on in … but only if you’re gay” because it set a tone for the piece right away.

Diánna: Yes! It did – it got everyone laughing, but it also let you know, as an audience member, kinda what you were in for … and you immediately got a sense of who her character was.

Karen: Which is so important because on first sight she’s anything but, to put it bluntly, a fag hag so it was even more endearing when she says it right up front with all her southern charm.

Diánna: Right? It really was – and it was done so simply.  Really truthful honest choices were made in the acting by both actors, so we got to see them as the people they were – and not caricatures. It would be easy to fall into that trap with this play if they were actors who were “acting”.

Karen: I agree.  I think Craig said it best when he said of Anna, “She was a great lady AND trailer trash. HOW did she do that?” Because of course you knew exactly how he meant it when he said it. It was said with love and got a great response from the audience . . .

Diánna: EXACTLY.

Karen: It showed that she was elegant AND spunky . . . that she could be wicked and had no problem bringing that side of herself out. This way, when it starts becoming revealed that this genteel southern lady was a leather bar chanteuse, it’s not so inconceivable anymore.

Diánna: Absolutely – because despite the southern belle aspect, she is more an independent woman who has these different sides to her that are all so interesting. You totally buy it and that’s even if you don’t have any idea of what you’re seeing …I went in blind about some things – and still went with it – but more on that later.

Karen: Right, you absolutely buy it, because as Anna takes you on her journey you can see the wide-eyed innocent she once was, and you can see all these defining moments that she was open too, these things that maybe other girls of  her social circle might have been shocked by and would have turned away from.

Instead, she embraced it all, and by doing so, she widened her mind, and her world, and suddenly it makes so much sense to see the woman you see before you with all her gentility and her wickedness at once.

Diánna: Yes! You see her transformation that was fed by being surrounded by people who cared about her…and despite the stigma that a lot of people, regardless of their point of view, have about homosexuality, would not be able to deal with, she was not concerned with any of that. She opened herself to it all – because it came from such a positive place.

Sitting there watching it and hearing her relive her tale reminded me of myself when I was living in St. Louis. It really took me on a trip down memory lane, and I think that’s something that really strikes a note with the audience – going back to the comfort level the actors create – because most people coming to see the play will know a little about it from the title; and in doing so, might very well have an experience of their own that is comparable – their “first time.”

Karen: It’s so true. As Anna was describing her first time in a leather bar, all wide eyed and innocent, so sweet and naive, I remembered all those days of being 18, 19, and going to gay bars here in New York City for the first time with my friends who were just coming out. It was all so different and exciting, and quite frankly, it really was much more of a bonding experience than just going to a sports bar with “regular” guys. I have nights from 20 years ago that I remember more vividly than what I did last weekend!

I think many others will be doing what we did as they watch this show – going down memory lane!

Diánna: Oh, absolutely. I think that’s what also allows for such an emotional connection between the actors and the audience. I mean, here you have two people reading mostly descriptions that are out of a novel, really, with dialogue between them, of course, but still some of that was even done in the third person. The ability for them to hold us in the palm of their hand like that was amazing – for the audience to really be there with them. And I think so much of it has to do with the fact that the audience becomes so involved because they are reliving their own experiences. I saw many heads nodding and people dabbing their eyes…I know I wasn’t the only one!

Karen: I was too! It really struck a chord, especially when she started talking about some of the sadder aspects.

Diánna:  And the descriptions – of the bar, of the people – it was all so vivid. It was amazing – and again, being done in the third person makes it so important that it was so rich in the way it painted the picture so that we would remain engaged. I have not been that affected by a reading in some time.

Karen: And I’m glad it was all inclusive, because while her joyful times were fun and funny, her journey really had tinges of sadness too. As she said, “carefree was replaced with caution and cadavers” and I think that’s the crux of this whole story. That she is not just that she was a naive girl who got some education about the leather bars and the underground gay scene of 1977.

Diánna: Absolutely!

Karen: But that she also unfortunately had to then bear witness to so much sadness, starting with seeing (or hearing about) her dear friends being gay bashed, and continuing on with watching her friends fall away one by one:  all victims of an epidemic which swept through the early 80s and claimed so many beautiful souls.

Diánna: I really appreciated the way that was laid out. The AIDS epidemic was mentioned/hinted at very early on and we knew that she had lost the myriad of friends she had lined in picture frames. And intermingled in the funny moments or the excited revelry, a small hint would be dropped again. But the main sad point, that was discussed for its own scene was the gay bashing – which was so sad, and made many of us cry in the audience; but the show, instead of taking an easy way out and going through a scene where she’s at a friend’s bedside when they’re dying of AIDS, she chose to focus on how incredible they were when they were alive – and so when they are talked about as dead, there is even so much more of a void, and it strikes home – without going over the top or getting sappy – where it could have.

Karen: That’s right. It’s one thing to talk about someone who’s dead … it’s another thing to talk about someone as if they were still alive … to see the gleam they still manage to produce in someone, to see that effect on someone makes their passing all the more poignant. It’s true. And whenever Anna spoke of her friends, you could see the years melt away, and she looked so much like a young girl again. That’s not just the power of acting. That’s the power of one person’s mark on another person, and like you say … the obviousness of that void is then just so much more heart wrenching.

David Carson and ALex Bond in DFW Fringe Festival

Diánna:  I wanted to also make note about David Carson’s performance – the same way that we saw in Alex’s face the joy and love that she had for those friends that she had lost, David had such a personalization in his love for her character. It really was just so lovely – it made me smile.

Karen: It’s so true. I think there’s a lot of nuance that would be lost without him; he’s got a tough role … he’s got to be the straight man (well, the gay straight man!) but the truth is, if this were just a one woman show I’m not so sure it would have played as well. They both come alive in each other’s company … and the story itself is so much about how people affect you and come into your life and rearrange you … that to do this piece solo wouldn’t have worked. So I agree, David does some of the hardest work in this piece, sometimes by simply letting Anna (and Alex) shine. He’s like the light that illuminates her.

Diánna: Well said – it really is a piece that makes for the characters to have a symbiotic relationship, and they do indeed feed each other, both to the actors and characters as well as the audience. Now, what is the history behind this? Is this an autobiographical tale that was a book, made into a play about a book?

Karen: Yes, there’s even a part in the beginning of the show where she’s talking to the man who’s about to write her book and says “lets write it in the 3rd person” and I think that’s why the play is about “someone else”.

Diánna: Ahhh…yes, that’s true. So they have written that in there so it just falls naturally.

Karen: Which is very magical in some ways, to take your life and hand it over.

Diánna: I suppose that was the decision to do it as a “reading”, instead of trying to bring it out as a staged piece – it wouldn’t have worked, trying to re-create her life as staging. The magic happened in a much subtler fashion.

Karen: Right, so unexpected. You don’t expect it to come to life as much because you’re expecting to hear someone reading a biography. Then, everything falls away and suddenly you’re transported, because the story is so powerful, and charming, and wonderful.

She really is a bit like Dorothy or Alice or … who else?

That chick in Narnia? … Going through the other side of the closet!

Diánna: Hahaha right!

Karen: Since back then everyone was still IN the closet, so the only way to understand the gay world, was to go INTO the closet!

Diánna: Very much like Alice. There is very much a fable/fairy tale thing going on – they even talk about that.

Karen: It’s nice to think that this is what Alice would be like grown up, telling her story to someone else of this time.

Diánna: All the leather and glitter; the trapeze and the world of queens, princesses . . .

Without a doubt, anyone who is interested in seeing the story of a young woman entering a world of unexpected delights and unimaginable experiences, but with a grown up twist, should then go see Late Nights With The Boys … it will transport you to a never-never-land  of fairy tales.

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