Doric Wilson passed away May 7th of this year.  Some may know him as an American playwright, director, producer, critic and gay rights activist. Others may know him as the founder of TOSOS (The Other Side Of Silence) which was the first professional gay theatre company.   But to many he was much, much more … and so to honor this man A Celebration of the Life of Doric Wilson will be held on Monday, October 10th at the Lucille Lortel Theater, 121 Christopher St., New York City, from 6-8pm. The event is free and open to the public; reservations are not required.

Alex Bond was one of the many people who was able to experience Doric Wilson in a personal way.  Today she shares a tribute she’d written not long after his death which highlights how the energy of this man shone over her and how privileged she felt for the few months she was able to share with him.

Dear Friends of Doric,

The first time I saw Doric Wilson was when he made his acceptance speech for a lifetime achievement award at the Fresh Fruit of Distinction Awards in July 2010. He was so charming, intelligent, witty and irreverent (four of my favorite qualities in a human being) that I gathered up my courage (I am extremely shy) and emailed him. I hoped some day to meet him.

To my great delight he emailed me back. He said that he had gone to my website and found out I was the niece of Sudie Bond. “You look a bit like her”, he noted after seeing a posted photo. He and Sudie had been great friends, part of the Albee /the Caffe Cino crowds. In fact, Doric “loved” (his word) Sudie and wished that they could have worked together professionally.

Emails continued to fly between 9th Avenue and New Jersey and back; and within a few weeks, Doric invited me to a show at LaMama where I had the pleasure of meeting Mark, Jamie and Tari. Then, the TOSOS readings became a part of my calendar; and soon after, Doric asked if I would join the acting company of TOSOS. I said “yes”… and from that point on I was unable to say “no” to Doric Wilson.

One wonders why certain people come into one’s life for only a short time, why these momentary flashes of brilliance must end just as one is getting accustomed to the light.

Doric was a shooting star who embraced me (and my husband), tried to guide me out of my comfort zone, and urged me to “lighten up”.

He also introduced me to those of you to whom I am writing… another gift indeed. I wanted you to know that I am so blessed to have met you through Doric. I am honored to have spent time with this man who was so influential in the advancement of Off-Off-Broadway and LGBT theatre.

I share your loss, dear friends of Doric. And I envy your longer associations with him. But let it be shouted from the rooftop at the Eagle that I am so grateful for the ten months that he was in my life.

Alex Bond

~~~

Related Posts:

• Women’s History Month: Celebrating Women In The Arts – Spotlight On Alex Bond
• The Secretaries – Do As I Say, Do As I Do (Fringe Festival 2010)
• Early Risers / Night Owls … Come With Me – Help Save UNDER St. Marks
• “A Home Across The Ocean” – A Heart Right Here
• Carl Andress Tells The Whole Story, Starting With “The Third Story”

Linda Evangelista is the source of the oft-quoted line “I won’t get out of bed for less than $10,000 a day.” I’ve often paraphrased and said that I won’t get out of bed before six a.m. unless a number like that is mentioned. Yeah, well … how about a number like over 5 million?

Let me explain …

Regular readers of The Happiest Medium know that UNDER St. Marks Theater is one of the theatres that I return to time and time again.  It’s where I first laid eyes on Killy Dwyer and Kill The Band, it’s where Alex Bond did her staged reading of Late Nights With The Boys, it’s where Penny Pollak holds Penny’s Open Mic and where Gigi LaFemme holds Revealed Burlesque. It’s where I saw Heidi Grumelot make a sock puppet into something much more in Donnie and the Monsters.  UNDER St. Marks is home to not only an army of downtown theatre artists but also to countless people who sit in the audience and shower them with love.  People like … me.

Well, this news had hardly hit the grapevine before all of downtown took it as a call to action — and very quickly Save UNDER St. Marks was formed.  Please join the group and throw your support behind this if you value all the precious gifts Horse Trade Theater Group has been able to funnel through this space.

So what does this have to do with getting up early?

Well, on Thursday, April 7 · 6:30am – 8:30am Save UNDER St. Marks is having a televised breakfast Event -

We want to invite you all to come out on Thursday morning at 6:45AM (yes AM) to join us in Showcasing the Horse Trade Talent at UNDER St Marks on NY1. Roger Clark will be there to interview us about UNDER St. Marks.

There will be two segments shot, one at 7am and the other around 8am, between the two segments we will run it open mic style with folks jumping up to do short 5 minute sets, the theme will be OWN IT.

We need a good turn out to show NYC that this is so important that even Artists are willing to get out of bed at 6AM and represent.

So if you can stay up all night and get there early — or if you can get out of bed, get yourself purty and look alive — please come join me at UNDER St. Marks on Thursday, April 7 · 6:30am – 8:30am.

Do it because there are moments when you need to join your voice with others in order to make a difference.  And this is one of those moments.

I’ll see you there.  Right?

~~~

More Info about UNDER St. Marks:

UNDER St. Marks is a downtown performance venue with a rich history. An experimental theatre space since the 1970’s, this 45-seat basement theater is now home to a wide variety of performance artists including The BTK Band, Penny’s Open Mic, Revealed Burlesque, Thank You Robot, Adam Wade, Tanya O’Debra, The Management, Little Lord, the Rising Sun Performance Company, No Tea Productions, Wide Eyed Productions, Animal Parts, Subjective Theatre Company, The Pumpkin Pie Show, and the FRIGID New York Festival.

Related Posts:

• It’s Time For Mini-Fridge Elevenses With Kill The Band – Mock Bottom Mockumental CD Release Experience!
• Mike Milazzo — Open Mike
• Women’s History Month: Celebrating Women In The Arts – Spotlight On Heidi Grumelot
• Following The Path Of Yoga
• 2nd Season Mini Fridge – Tasty, Filling And Leaving Audience Wanting More! (Jun 28, 2012 – Jul 04, 2012 )

These women of the arts hail from different disciplines, but they all have an indomitable spirit and a luminescent spark that makes them amazing human beings who are out there every day, doing amazing work.

Today we continue our series with Alex Bond – a woman I’ve had the pleasure to experience in many ways – as an actress, a singer and most fortunately, as a friend. When I sent Alex a few questions for this Q&A Ms. Bond – being the storyteller that she is – sent back a history that only she could write.  ”Dear Karen,” she began, “as always, you bring up a hot topic which elicits brutal honesty.  Here we go…”   Here we go, indeed —

The subject of “women” (and being one) is a tough one for me.  I have always been one, even though while growing up in the 1950’s my name was considered to be a man’s name.  My mother would sign me up for some activity and there would always be the question on enrollment day, “Alex Bond, is HE here?”  I would reluctantly raise my hand.

But let’s start at the beginning.  When I was 18 months old, my mother dropped me on my head (oh, THAT explains it) and I had my first Traumatic Brain Injury.  We won’t go into the physical or emotional ramifications (another treatise altogether), but suffice it to say that for six months after the skull fracture I would not allow my mother to hold me, change my diapers, or feed me.  Thus began my distrust of the female sector of the species  – of which I am a member.  Hmmmm.

I went to an all-girls’ school K- 12 where my mother taught.  I was the “Glee”- like non-athletic  (yes, field hockey was uber-important)  artsy-fartsy girl in my class with the geeky boy’s name.  K-12 girls can be real mean.  My distrust was re-enforced.  Senior year I had a second skull fracture — from a car accident this time — (that REALLY explains it all) and the insecurities from the first TBI returned.

I continued my education by going to an all-girls’ college for a year and a half.  Finally, I mustered the courage to tell my mother that I wanted to go to a co-ed school where I might have the opportunity to discover the other half of the species.   I had had my fill of females! Voila! I finally had friends, and they were male — the guys in the Radio/TV  department.  This began a long, abiding appreciation of “techies” — smart, quiet men, interested in solving puzzles.  (My dear husband Leon is a techie.)

In graduate school in theatre in Texas, I discovered gay men — the girlfriends I had never had!  In fact, I was told by “the boys” numerous times that I was really a gay man in a woman’s body.   My own mother even said to me on one occasion when we were discussing homosexuality,  “I am sure that if you had been born a boy you would have been gay.”  I took it as a compliment.  And in grad school I met gay women (Lesbians if you prefer), women who were no-bullshit, honest, and intelligent.   Both of these groups  were non-threatening (emotionally and sexually), and we were all “different”, so I began to enjoy friendships that have lasted now for years —  those remaining friends that AIDS did not steal.  And it is because of these men and women that I finally started taking baby steps toward making “straight” female friends – including making myself my friend.  It was “okay” for me to be a woman.  What a breakthrough!

I am 60 now and am delighted I am a female.  I have extraordinary friends – female and male,  straight and gay, old and young.  My friends have been carefully chosen.  (Please consider yourself one, Karen.) And I love them and support them as best as I can.  I can trust all my friends not to drop me on my head.

So, this exposé doesn’t really answer your questions.   But it does provide the background for what I will now confess.

I am an actress/writer/former dancer/former leather bar chanteuse.  I see life as a smorgasbord and I have been fortunate to have had many marvelous and varied dining experiences.  In my profession as an actress, I have on occasion experienced penis envy because there are, quite simply, more roles for men.   As a writer, I think I would be taken more seriously if I were a man.  As a former dancer, I wish I still could.  And as a former leather bar chanteuse, no one but THIS LADY could have been THAT WOMAN!

I have never experimented with the corporate world – I have no interest whatsoever.  I am content to have always been “in the Arts” and I am content to be a Woman in the Arts.  (I can say though that I would have made more money if I were a man – period, end of sentence.)  I am so fortunate to have a devoted male partner (my Leon) who shares the bounty of life with me and who loves me for the woman I have become because of my journey.

If reincarnation is what’s next, I make the request here and now to come back as a woman.  I also ask that I not be dropped on my head.  I’d like thicker hair, too.   (Ha, as though the hair thing will come through!)

What’s next in this life?  I have the privilege of doing a monologue from Doric Wilson’s  A Perfect Relationship for the 50th anniversary of his life as a playwright @ The West Bank Café on March 16th at 9:30pm.  It’s a fund raiser for TOSOS.

And I am reading (with the fabulous David Carson) selections from my book “LATE NIGHTS WITH THE BOYS: confessions of a leather bar chanteuse” for a one-night-only book reading as part of the 2011 Planet Connections Festivity.   This is the first time we will have 80 minutes, so if you listened to us before, come back, we will have more “Anna stories” for you. Please check out www.alexbond.org for more details.

~~~

Thank you so much, Alex, for sharing your story with us for Women’s History Month!   As always, your wit, intelligence and sparkle shine right through your work.  I’m honored to be your friend.  (And you correctly surmised – I will not bonk you on the head).

A little more about Alex:

ALEX BOND has appeared in MTWorks’ productions of Barrier Island by David Stallings and A Home Across the Ocean by Cody Daigle.  Off-Broadway Ms. Bond appeared in Luigi Creatore’s Flamingo Court as Clara, Marie, and Chi-Chi.

Regional theatre work:  DFW Fringe Festival at the Hub Theatre, Provincetown Theatre, New Harmony Theatre, Depot Theatre, Buffalo Studio Arena, Virginia Stage Company, Theatre Virginia, South Jersey Regional Theatre, Dallas Theatre Center, Theatre Three. Numerous national commercials.

Whenever and wherever possible Ms. Bond performs readings from her novel “LATE NIGHTS WITH THE BOYS: confessions of a leather bar chanteuse” with David L. Carson; their work has received the ‘Producer’s Pick Award’ from the 2007 Dallas/Ft. Worth Fringe Festival and the ‘Best Literary Staging’ from the 2008 San Francisco Fringe Festival, and Fruit of Distinction Awards in 2009 from The Fresh Fruit Festival/All Out Arts.

She and Mr. Carson fight intolerance with humor and truth one reading at a time.  Ms. Bond is delighted and honored to be part of MTWork’s and TOSOS’s acting companies.

Related Posts:

• Doric Wilson – Gone But Not Forgotten: Help Celebrate His Life
• Early Risers / Night Owls … Come With Me – Help Save UNDER St. Marks
• Women’s History Month: Celebrating Women In The Arts – Spotlight On Robin Rice Lichtig
• Women’s History Month: Celebrating Women In The Arts – Spotlight On Glory Kadigan
• Planet Connections Q&A: Good Lonely People

Being the editor and founder of The Happiest Medium has its privileges.  I’d like to think that I know how to delegate but I’ll be honest – when an opportunity came up to interview Ms. Alex Bond I took it for myself because I’d been wanting to meet this wonderful lady ever since I’d seen her show Late Nights With The Boys.   I was fortunate to also see Ms. Alex Bond in the MTWorks production of David Stallings’ Barrier Island. She is currently playing opposite David in Cody Daigle’s A Home Across The Ocean.

Ms. Bond is one of those rare performers whose light shines out so brightly that you can see her eyes twinkle from the back row.  I admit that I was nervous to meet her and sit down with her but, of course, Alex is as warm and dear as she comes across on stage and she not only gave me a great interview but she also shared some deep insight into A Home Across The Ocean.

We sat down for lunch earlier this month while rehearsals for this play were still going on. Now that A Home Across The Ocean is in its last week there’s still time to get your tickets, and I urge you to do so.  I’ll let my interview with Alex explain why  . . .

Alex Bond (Grethe) in MTWorks world premiere production of A HOME ACROSS THE OCEAN by Cody Daigle, directed by Dev Bondarin | September 16 - October 2, 2010 | Theatre Row Complex | Photo Credit: Antonio Miniño

Tell us a little bit about A Home Across The Ocean , and about your character, Grethe, in particular.

AB:I guess it’s best for me to speak mostly about my part because I wouldn’t dare speak for the other characters. As actors we bring ourselves to a part so I will mostly speak about about Grethe.

A Home Across The Ocean itself  is like a poem to the idea of forming families when perhaps the ones that we were born with or the ones we’ve had before don’t fulfill us. I play the mother – and it’s great because I’ve been forming families all my life, and you hope that they stick around with you for as long as you stick around. In some cases, they don’t… but moving on, and moving forward are also themes of our play.

So Grethe is the mother of a gay son – which frankly could not have been more perfect. If I had had children I would have wanted them to be gay- either male or female – simply because when I was younger and growing up it was such a stigma and I thought that was wrong.  I felt that people who are different need a little extra love. And I get being different . . . so that’s why I’d be a good mom of a gay person.

A Home Across The Ocean is a beautifully written play by Cody Daigle. I’m wondering if Cody had a lot of his own mother in my character . . . she’s a highly educated woman; maybe a little too educated. She likes to use big words when she gets ticked off … words like “incredulousness” . . . she pulls out the vocabulary when she wants to make a point!

Grethe has just lost her husband of 33 years and she has decided to move forward and in doing so maybe has made some choices that are precipitous (laughing). How’s that?

That’s a great ten dollar word!

Her son certainly thinks that Mom is moving too quickly after Dad’s death, so we have that contention going on between family members. In the meantime, her son, Conner, and his partner have adopted a child which they don’t tell Mom is a 13 year old girl . . . and Mom is anticipating a baby. Also, the child is African American, But that’s fine with Grethe because she herself has written a letter to a former lover (someone whom I’m convinced she lost her virginity to) who is an African poet who she had aligned herself with in college.

I think it’s one of those reactions:  “I don’t know what to do with myself, I’ve taken care of the business that has to do with my husband’s passing, now what?” So she writes to this man who now lives in London and probably thinks he won’t reply . . . or come to visit . . . but he does!

What follow are the labor pains of everyone forming this new family.

DAVID STALLINGS and ALEX BOND (Off-B'way: "Flamingo Court") appearing in MTWorks' world premiere of A HOME ACROSS THE OCEAN, by LGBTQ journalist CODY DAIGLE, directed by DEV BONDARIN | September 16 - October 2, 2010 at The Studio Theatre @Theatre Row | photo credit: Antonio Miniño

You’ve worked with David Stallings now for several projects in a row. He plays your son in A Home Across The Ocean. How does it feel to be playing his mom?

We love each other a lot already. But what I have to bring to this play is that “mother-judgmental” thing . . . which I would never do to David in real life. I admire him as an actor as well as a playwright. But Momma judges, as Mommas do. So I have had to bring in some things that are not in our daily friendship.

Does it feel strange?

Yes, it does. Because we’ll get through rehearsal after I have yelled at him or he’s gotten snippy with me in a scene and it is odd. We haven’t really talked about it, but it’s interesting. I have to bring something that isn’t there in our normal relationship. I don’t want to yell at him and I have to judge him and that’s something that I, Alex, wouldn’t do. So yes, it’s been tough.

A Home Across The Ocean is a very heartwarming play that’s nestled amid some very prickly issues. Do you see this as a message play, or just a play about people who happen to be in certain situations?

I think any play is a message play. Some hit you over the head with a jackhammer – this one does not. This one uses subtly and beautiful language.

One of the most interesting things I find about A Home Across The Ocean is that it’s not about gay adoption. It’s more . . . “okay, they’ve adopted her, and now how do they cope as parents?” So the conversations these men have about their daughter could be coming out of any adoptive parent’s mouths. And that’s what’s wonderful about the play. Yes, these are exceptional circumstances and that gets mentioned occasionally. But that’s not the big thing. So it starts from a point of gay adoption already being acceptable.

At the same time, Daniel and Conner worry about “are we able to do it?” [as a gay couple]. As much as you don’t agree with something that society is saying, you still hear it, and it still creates that grain of doubt. There’s a part where Grethe says to Conner “Everything you’ve done smacks of impermanence” . . . in Grethe’s eyes.

She brings out the questions of Why are you fostering instead of adopting? Why is [foster daughter] Penny 13? She’ll be out of the house in 5 years. Maybe Conner never thought of that but Mom knows how to provoke Son.

I feel that gay adoption is such a wonderful thing that I don’t see anything wrong with it in my own head. I have a neighbor who can’t understand “gay” anything, much less gay adoption. We were discussing it and I said “You know more children are abused by ‘traditional’ parents?” For me, it’s a no-brainer. And I don’t know when people will wake up to just celebrating goodness, no matter what package it comes in.

I’m right there with you.

LATE NIGHTS WITH THE BOYS: confessions of a leather bar chanteuse Pictured: Alex Bond in 1977

This feeds right into my next question – In your own show that you wrote “Late Nights With the Boys: Confessions of a Leather Bar Chanteuse”you take audiences back to a time when being gay meant hiding out in bars and putting on a different persona out in the “real” world. What does it mean now to you to be part of A Home Across The Ocean- a play that celebrates the relationship of a gay couple – and also shows the challenges of two men trying to adopt a child?

I think progress generally moves slowly. In thirty years strides have been made – and it’s high time but in retrospect, a shame. Some people say “We’ll take what we can get” and I say “Let’s open people’s eyes.” Late Nights is somewhat of an eyeopener in that it shows exactly how much progress has been made … but there are still [gay] people being beat up, there are still people being ostracized, there are still people being kicked out of their homes because they don’t fit the norm.  Equal rights shouldn’t have qualifiers or exceptions.  So we’re not done yet.

I don’t march anymore . . . but I do what I can, and so that’s what Late Nights is about. It’s for younger gay people to see how there has been progress and to keep it going; and for people who remember the old days who can be nostalgic about the crazy kick-up-your-heels days. People always find inequity in the world, and I’ll never change my neighbor’s mind, but I know that there are people who have changed their minds.

Without giving away too much of the plot, do you have a favorite moment or scene in A Home Across The Ocean, one that really gets you excited every time you come to it?

Yes – and it happens quite early – there is an airport scene. I’d mentioned that the African Poet comes for a visit. This is one of those moments that everyone would love to have – where they see their first love after 35 years come walking toward them in an airport . . .and all of a sudden, especially for someone who is . . . well Grethe’s 56 in the play (and I’ll say that’s how old I am) but you all of a sudden are 19 again. That is so cool and it’s so much fun to play with and to experience because I often act and talk younger than my years. Maturity is something that . . . well there are certain aspect of it of which I am not fond. So that is a favorite moment.

Bonus question time! You can tell me anything you want. It can be a favorite memory, or tell me about your favorite charity. You can give me a recipe or tell me a joke or just leave me with a quote. Anything at all. The mic is yours . . .

Well at the risk of sounding maudlin there is something that I don’t talk about a lot, it comes up in personal conversations, but it is now time for me to own and be proud of. And that is the fact that I am, twice, a TBI [traumatic brain injury] survivor. I’ve had two skull fractures in my life — both of which had me comatose. They were a long time ago. But they affect how quickly I memorize, and I have no peripheral depth perception and there are some things I’ve had to adjust to. And the fact that I’m still acting, and that people still want me, even though I take a little longer to learn things, that – to me – is a miracle.

So if other people got cracked up a couple times and feel they can’t do anything – I’m living proof that you can.

You are MORE than living proof! You are sparkling proof. You are the most dynamic, sparkling person I know!

Thank you! If anything, I want my life to be an inspiration. I want to inspire people and I want people to be tolerant of each other, because you don’t know their story . . . you don’t know them. And on a molecular level we are all the same. As a codicil (another good word) . . . as a codicil . . . guess what? I forgot what the codicil was! (laughs)

Well if you remember you tell me!

__________________

Alex did remember – her codicil was that there is ONE thing she herself doesn’t tolerate – and that’s a bigot.  I agree – bigotry is one thing we all can be intolerant of!

To see Alex Bond’s touching performance as Grethe, and to watch this entire talented cast experience the growing pains of forming a new family, make sure to get to A Home Across The Ocean this week.

~~~

Related Posts:

• Women’s History Month: Celebrating Women In The Arts – Spotlight On Dev Bondarin
• The Sensational Josephine Baker
• The 2012 National Newborn Festival Is Almost Here!
• Doric Wilson – Gone But Not Forgotten: Help Celebrate His Life
• “Kithless In Paradise” – The Rich Are Different